You all want the lovely music to save your lives.




Stephen Mather
My Story is not a pleasant one, it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams, like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves.
   

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Sunday, February 25, 2007
I'll fight like hell to hide that I've given up.

As we drive together through 7am infinite.

The clouds part and it is still morning of mist

            and white, because

Trees stand crooked but so perfect and there in

            the valley I see somewhere no one has

            been and it will be forgotten

(as light through water and leaves)

The rain falls sorrowful and heavy on the

            port in Tokyo and the sakura tree

            grows from my heart.

I don't think you left but please,

            be back soon

 




                                    My Brother

His glasses reflected the heavens

and all he saw was the sky

            everything was so beyond him

            that his future reflected the very same heavens

He has no idea how much I love him.

 

 


The fence is browner in the rain

and the roofs don't seem quite

as red, from behind black mountains

I think the grey clouds go on forever.

 


            The world in full bloom, your eyes

All the colors and scent of rain bloom as

            if the senses were flowers

And in your arms the world is wholly new when

            I lose myself blinded looking through petals pressed

            against my eyes, my heart

And I am blissfully lost in the rain with you.

 


Somewhere the sun is rising and somewhere the sun is setting

            And somewhere in time it rains right here,

            your carnation blooms and

            all our forgotten dreams of worlds, of stars are returned to us,

You hold me in your arms.

But right now nothing looks as real as the ocean

and nothing has ever been as real as

your eyes

            when the white flowers fall against

            the brown tree trunk and against the

            fading white sky, our future is true

You are in my heart and nothing will

            ever be as real as this

                                                We are reality.


One day everything will be lost (this prose too forgotten, what I saw in it emptied) but for right now nothing is lost. Everything is new to my heart and it is there you will always be. Yes everything is new to my heart as it always has been and always will be and such is the stars and such is us.



            You! you with your eyes and heart, look upon your surroundings, upon life in this instant and smile! Oh how wonderful being alive is! So many words and thoughts and I lose myself to them every time. I forgot how precious every second is, how simply being alive contains more love than even the greatest love poem. Every time, this feeling always fades from me, but somehow it will be alright.  I will fight and try my hardest and I will in every moment realize the fullest potential inside myself. I'm alive and in love with the world and nothing will ever kill my heart! love endures all.

            To not be able to change the flow of time but to love it with all my heart lies peace, harmony. And that every moment is entirely new and my love every moment different and stronger than the last. My heart keeps beating with every moment new love. No more fear! being afraid of new seconds because I have faith and hope and give my heart entirely to love.

            I don't care if it's "unrealistic", I will not lose my love of life, I will face each moment with my heart and no matter what anyone says, I am alive and they cannot take my love away from me.

            Yes even in me forgetting that I am alive, there is love and everywhere is love and it all keeps my heart pounding.

 

In my heart, I wanna feel everything, all at once!

                                                                                    Love endures all.

 

 

 


Posted at 08:01 pm by Stephen Mather

Ying-Ying
March 7, 2007   06:47 PM PST
 
In my heart, I wanna feel everything, all at once!

Love that line. Don't we all want that? It's so child-like wonderful.
 

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